Why Does Rest Feel so Uncomfortable when You’re Healing?

Here’s something that you might relate to: you’ve finally cleared space in your life to slow down, maybe even for the first time in years. No more constant rushing, no more stress-fueled all-nighters. Instead, your body is basically begging for rest. But instead of relief, all you feel is… uncomfortable. Restless. Maybe even guilty. Sometimes, looking after yourself just feels different; sometimes, it just doesn’t feel right. Which is so strange, right?

Like, it makes zero sense on the surface. Because yeah, rest is supposed to feel good. So why does it feel so foreign, so itchy, so awkward when healing is the focus? Well, to be totally honest, the answer isn’t that you’re lazy or incapable. It’s that rest takes a different kind of work than most people are used to. So, healing often means undoing years of patterns, and those patterns don’t just vanish when you close your laptop or step out of a demanding lifestyle. Actually, rest isn’t as simple as lying on the couch and binge-watching something.

Sure, that would be nice. But it’s more about learning to be in your own skin without the distraction of constant busyness. And that’s way harder than people give it credit for.

Rest Feels Like Losing Control

And yeah, that’s probably the weird part about all of this, right? But it’s true, because one of the biggest reasons rest feels uncomfortable is that it strips away control. Okay, sure, it sounds weird, but bear with this for a moment. So, staying busy creates an illusion of being on top of things, even if it’s just spinning plates. When that activity slows down, the thoughts you’ve been dodging have space to show up. So yeah, that can feel terrifying.

But even so, it’s rest that invites feelings to the surface, and not always the pleasant ones. Plus, things like anxiety, grief, guilt, old memories, things you worked hard to bury. So then, it’s like it’s quiet enough to hear them. That’s why some people panic the second they sit still. Honestly, it’s not laziness, it’s exposure. But rest becomes uncomfortable because the noise that used to drown everything out is gone, and the silence feels louder than any to-do list ever did.

Productivity Culture Made Everyone Afraid of Rest

This is also known as “Hustle Culture”, and those super annoying LinkedIn influencers only pushed for this to be even worse. Nowadays, productivity is treated like a badge of honor. If you’re not constantly producing, hustling, or “making progress,” it’s almost like your worth is in question. So, of course, rest feels like breaking some unspoken rule.

Just go ahead and think about how often people brag about being exhausted. “I only got four hours of sleep last night.” That’s not healthy, but it’s often worn like an achievement. But rest, on the other hand, is dismissed as laziness or weakness. So really, it’s no wonder it feels so uncomfortable when it becomes necessary. But healing requires flipping that script, and that takes practice.

Rest Shows You Who You Really Are 

This one sounds really weird, but bear with it. So, it forces you to meet yourself, without all the distractions. When there’s no endless workday, no phone buzzing, no tasks to hide behind, it’s just you. And if you’ve spent years avoiding that internal conversation, rest puts it right in your face.

But this can be especially tough for people healing from addiction or trauma. Distraction was the buffer. When the buffer is gone, rest feels like exposure therapy. Actually, that’s exactly why recovery programs often emphasize structure around rest. Because it’s not just about naps and downtime, it’s about teaching the body and mind that slowing down is safe. Usually, prior to the recovery journey, resting is ingrained in the mind to be a bad thing (not always, of course, but it tends to be the case).

There’s Also the Guilt 

Oh yeah, you absolutely can’t forget about the guilt here either! This one was briefly mentioned earlier, and this definitely needs another mention. So, healing isn’t about doing nothing, but rest often looks like that from the outside. For example, things like sitting on the porch, lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, or even meditating, none of it looks productive, so guilt creeps in. The mind whispers, “Shouldn’t you be doing something?” Again, that whole productivity culture thing also ingrained this into people's minds, too.

But that guilt is conditioning. It’s the product of years spent equating value with output. But the truth is, doing “nothing” in recovery is very much something. No, seriosuly, it absolutely is, and it’s something you need to forever remember. You have to get that whole “productivity is everything” mindset out that gets pushed. Because rest is allowing the body to repair, the nervous system to reset, and the brain to breathe. 

That doesn’t look flashy, but it’s essential. Guilt only lingers until rest is reframed as part of the work.

But How Can You Make Rest Feel Less Foreign?

If rest feels unbearable, it doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong. It means the nervous system is still learning. But it can help to just start small. Like maybe a five-minute pause (preferably not on your phone). Maybe a short nap without the phone nearby. But you could even consider reading a few pages of a book with no multitasking. But it’s all about Little moments of quiet that build tolerance.

But movement helps too. Rest doesn’t always have to mean stillness or being a couch potato. Because even a slow walk, gentle stretching, or even mindful cooking can be restful without forcing complete inactivity. The body gets to slow down without feeling trapped or anything like that.

It’ll take time to create the mental shift, sure. But overall, just remember that rest isn’t a reward for burning out, it’s a requirement for healing. Think of it like water. Nobody feels guilty for drinking water because it’s understood as necessary. Rest is the same. Yeah, the analogy is weird, but not all necessities are, and you should never feel guilty over needing what is literally just a necessity.

Why Rest is Part of the Work

The biggest misconception is that rest is the absence of work. In reality, rest is the invisible half of it. Muscles don’t grow during exercise; they grow during recovery (it’s true, look it up). And the same goes for mental health. But healing doesn’t only happen in therapy sessions, journaling, or through hard conversations. It happens in the quiet moments where the brain is given space to stitch itself back together. Sure, rest is uncomfortable because it feels passive. But what’s happening internally is anything but.

Photo by Ivan Samkov